In the words of Michael Jordan, "I'M BACK"

Tim did an admirable job filling in for me. Let us all take a minute and commend his very unique style of writing which successfully made me sound like a 10 year old girl. Thanks, buddy!

Some random China numbers:
~$7,500 spent
10 lbs lost
too many memories to count
4 flights, 2 trains, 1 boat, dozens of bus and taxis, and 1 very scary motocycle ride
10 cities in 56 days

So what's next for your favorite blogger??? Either find a job or even better, win the MEGAMILLIONS jackpot, currently at ~$250 million. Wish me luck!!

more pics.

man the updates just keep coming!

Yall have no effing idea how effing hard it was to get these effing picz sent out! I hope you're HAPPY! I included a modelling pic of myself (this was before my haircut) with some other Chinese stars. Guo Jing Jing is quite nice, but Yi Jian Lian wasn't even there. they just copied and pasted his likeness in the ad. and also, some pandas. and btw tim, only the PANDA and/or CHINESE ADVERTISEMENT pics may be POSTED.

chengdu chinaz

guess what i saw when i went to see the pandas!?! lol i can't believe i saw shaq in the front row hugging a panda!

jk guys i did not see shaq. i found this on the internetz.

pictures!

hey guys! here's a pic of me looking at the solar eclipse! it was awesomee!


jk this is not me!

hi guyz!

George: O HAI
i EFFING SLEPT THROUGH THE SOLAR ECLIPSE
ONCE IN A LIFETIME!
FML!
Sent at 12:25 AM on Wednesday


Editor's note: It is the longest such eclipse since July 11, 1991, when a total eclipse lasting 6 minutes, 53 seconds was visible from Hawaii to South America. There will not be a longer eclipse than Wednesday's until 2132.

CHENGDU CHINA

(00:37:20) glindog123: o hai
(00:37:30) glindog123: wat time is the SOLAR ECLIPSE TMRW
(00:37:32) Timothy Shaw: o hai
(00:37:33) Timothy Shaw: wut
(00:37:38) Timothy Shaw: THERE IS A SOLAR ELICPSE TMR?
(00:37:43) glindog123: there is like a solar eclipse
(00:37:45) glindog123: yes
(00:37:47) glindog123: July 22
(00:37:48) Timothy Shaw: r u serious
(00:37:52) glindog123: its going to be dark for like
(00:37:54) Timothy Shaw: can u see it from anywhere on earth
(00:37:57) glindog123: 6 minutes or something
(00:38:00) glindog123: i dunno
(00:38:01) Timothy Shaw: wiath okay
(00:38:06) Timothy Shaw: waht is a solar eclips exactly
(00:38:10) glindog123: wait maybe only in chinaz
(00:38:17) Timothy Shaw: dude where are you!?
(00:38:17) glindog123: b/c in america it may be dark already
(00:38:19) glindog123: or something
(00:38:21) glindog123: CHENGDU
(00:38:24) Timothy Shaw: dude
(00:38:29) Timothy Shaw: are you like
(00:38:31) Timothy Shaw: having funz
(00:38:49) glindog123: today i saw some
(00:38:56) glindog123: PANDAZ EAT LOTS OF BMBOO
(00:39:00) Timothy Shaw: ah yes
(00:39:03) glindog123: it was awesome
(00:40:02) glindog123: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_eclipse_of_July_22,_2009
(00:40:04) glindog123: sick
(00:40:13) glindog123: i shoud have like gone to a different city
(00:40:18) Timothy Shaw: oh yeh it is only like for chinaz
(00:40:29) Timothy Shaw: why dude all of china is in it
(00:40:30) glindog123: YES!
(00:40:33) Timothy Shaw: oh b/c of hte pandas u mean
(00:40:34) glindog123: IT WILL BE IN CHENGDU
(00:40:36) glindog123: YEAHHBOI!
(00:40:48) glindog123: it is like going to be dark in the middle of the day
(00:41:28) Timothy Shaw: dude
(00:41:31) Timothy Shaw: are you going otgo NUTS
(00:41:41) Timothy Shaw: becareul of like LOOTING
(00:43:02) glindog123: dude i lik
(00:43:05) glindog123: ee
(00:43:09) glindog123: need to make a little viewing box
(00:43:16) glindog123: so i dont like BURN MY RETINAS
(00:43:50) glindog123: ok i am going to like go wak around CHENGDU
(00:43:54) glindog123: L8
(00:43:54) Timothy Shaw: ah yes
(00:43:58) Timothy Shaw: bye ybe
(00:44:00) glindog123: you can blog this
(00:44:09) glindog123: I AM IN CHENGDU, SICHUAN PROV., CHINAZ
(00:44:13) glindog123: byebye
(00:44:15) glindog123 has gone offline.

an muo

George: ah yes
you are a copy cat room
alex i got a massage today from a kind of cute girl
but then i think she was blind

LATE NIGHT CHAT session.

George Lin: oh
man
i wonder if the receptionist has a boyfriend
she is so cute
ah yes
me: ah yes
perhaps she has a NAN PENG YOU
George Lin: ah yes

no title.

TODAY I MET THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I EVER SAW. DETAILS TO FOLLOW.

1st week in KUNMING.

Hello loyal followers! I hope Tim is not mucking up my blog too much. I just finished my first week in KUNMING, YUNNAN PROV., CHINA. 4 hrs of 1 on 1 instruction 5 days a week gets pretty draining, but I'm having fun so far and learning alot of PUTONGHUA. The school is full of a weird mix of people. An Indian-Aussie doctor, a young white Brit with dreads, some strange Americans (me included, i guess), some old guys looking to score a wife, maybe. It has dorms, but they're all full, so they put me and 2 other students from France at a nearby hotel. One is black and the other is white and both can speak chinese much better than me

I've been hanging with them mostly and we get stared at all the time. They've never seen a HEI REN before. They're fun to hang out with, but sometimes, they have a habit of, what I like to call, "going all Frenchy on me". That is, they will randomly start making weird sounds, and start singing in french, and dance. Again, a total random occurence. We've been to KTV, an Argentinian bar, a disco that opened until 6 am, and various museums and temples. Nearly every meal, there are at least 3 or 4 different nationalities and languages spoken.

As I think about my experiences in Kunming, so far, the phrase, "WELCOME TO CHINA" can be applied liberally to many different incidents.

1. A well-dressed mom takes her well-dressed child outside a restaurant or something, pulls down his pants, lifts him up like young Simba, and lets him poop on the street.

2. The touts at every bus/train station asking us if we would like to hop in to their old, unmarked van to take a tour to God knows where instead of paying 10 yuan extra for a proper bus ticket.

3. I hear the loudest loogie of my life being hocked, and then I turn around to see a 7 year old girl .

Final thoughts from S. Korea:

Next time I see a couple with matching shirts, I would like to dump red wine on one of them. I wouldn't do it, but I'd like to.

Girls apparently like pretty boys.

All the white foreigners do at the hostel is drink beer all day, and eat at Subway.

The asian foreigners stay locked in their rooms.

The Korean language sounds awesome.

Lots of crooked teeth. Suprising since alot of young people care about their appearance. Alot of double eyelids too.

My Korean friend told me the men work until 8-9 pm 6 days a week, then go out to eat and get drunk with their friends, and then pass out at home, and the wives get all pissy.

It is a small world. I met up with Law Chang's law school friend John, who was in Korea for the summer. He brought along a highschool or college buddy from Boston who's friends with a guy from Texas that I know, Aaron. So basically, it is 6 degrees of Separation, also known as the Lawrence Chang Game.

sports.

I'm missing so many sporting events while here in KUNMING, China. Please enjoy this picture of BASKETBALL, on of my favorite sports!

i'm still in chinaz!

condolences to michael jacksons family from china.

i'm in chinaz!

hey guyz...i have made it to the motherland. anyone know any good local beerz? i am in KUNNMING, YUNNAN PROVINCE. WO AI NI MEN. i am soo good at chinezezz

Korean food

Spicy going in, spicy coming out. Have a nice day!

Airplane stratagem and other things

What is the best seat on an airplane? Depends on who you ask. The wonder and excitement of flight wears off as one gets older, so now the once coveted window seat gives way for a seat that is most convenient for adult needs, namely freedom to get up and about, legroom, and the minimization of unwanted distractions. The seating arrangement of my airplane was 3 X 3 X 3, that is three sections containing three seats each separated by two aisles. It is the opinion of this author that the best seat in this arrangement is either aisle seat in the middle section. Like any aisle seat, one can stretch his legs into the aisle, and also one can get up and go to the bathroom at any time. But here's the key. Find a middle section that already has two of the 3 seats occupied, and pick this aisle seat. Why, you ask? Chances are good that these two people know each other, especially if you see that there are plenty of open seats. So if/when this middle person has to go pee, who is he going to ask to get up so he can get out? Our hero trying to catch some ZZZZs or the person that he knows and won't mind annoying by asking him to move. It all comes down to odds. You simply have to arrange it so the odds of an enjoyable flight are in your favor.

Also, the chances of sitting next to a cute (in the most liberal definition ever) girl on a plane are less than 1%. This comes from personal experience as I have taken dozens of solo flights where I had two chances for a cutie to sit next to me. One seat to my right and one to my left. The Seinfeld epi where Jerry meets a supermodel on an airplane is unrealistic. Sorry fellas......

SEOUL, KOREA

Koreans love to eat, drink, and watch their RED DEVILS play soccer. In a local restaurant serving up some delicious bul gal bi (short ribs) and bul go ki, Sung and I partook in all three, as the Korean national team was playing Iran in a World Cup qualifier. Afterwards, we hit up an octopus stand, and shared one raw tentacle (with another bottle of soju), that had been cut up and were wiggling all over the place. A dab of hot sauce and its down the hatch!! You will never make a dent in the tentacles so it is pointless to chew for more than 5 seconds. Just swallow the thing. Tasted rubbery.

So feeling pretty good now, we take a 15 min cab ride to HONGDAE, a place filled w/ several universities and bars. We then got smashed. I remember vaguely leaving the bar and talking to some people (though I could have dreamt this). Next thing I know, a couple Koreans wake me up. The sun is out, and it is 8 am. I did a quick check. Wallets here, a few minor scrapes, clothes are dirty. I have no idea where I am, but apparently I had slept on the effing street. I pay 100 won to use the public bathroom, and hail a cab. I tell the driver, "TAKE ME TO SEOUL." He looks at me cockeyed and tells me, I assume, to get out. I wander around for 30 min looking for a computer to look up the hostel address. (BTW our hostel is called THE BONG HOUSE, run by Mr. BONG who is very nice) I am still very dizzy. The police station is around the corner, and the nice officers allow me to look up the address, and even wrote it down on a piece of paper in Korean. 20 min later I stumble into THE BONG HOUSE, where I see Sung passed out on the bed in our room. He said later that he got back 30 min before me. He slept in the street as well. Just a couple of hobos in SEOUL, KOREA.

But seriously, folks...

Sitting in SFO where the Asian: Non-asian ratio must be 4:1. In other news, I read a blurb in some article many years ago, postulating that by the year 2500 (Okay I just made that up), the majority of Earth's inhabitants will have a light brownish hue. I, apparently, am ahead of the curve.

I am blogging now!!!

OH YEAH!!!