Bad movie night

Its bad movie night on the18 hr bus ride from Puerto Iguazu to Buenos Aires. SOME SPOILERS AHEAD.


The Other Guys: hilariously dumb. This was right in Will Ferrell's wheelhouse

Grown Ups: Just like an NBA all star game when everyone tries WAY to hard to impress. It was so disjointed the way all 5 star comedians threw out random, unfunny one liners in rapid succession. It felt like each comedian wrote their own jokes, and then the director just cut and pasted them together.

Charlie St. Cloud: Plot synopsis: Zac effron can see dead people, and also have secks with the ghost or soul or whatever of living people. He is a very good looking guy, no homo.

The expendables: the plot was ridiculous but it aired at 2 in the morning on a bus, so i enjoyed it. Jet Li v. Dolph Lundgren. Tough call...

Welcome to the Jungle

Came out of the jungle as wild men. Our guide was named Elso Lima, but i liked to call him Francisco Elso Lima Peru. When he was telling us about a girl he thought was hot he said, 'this girl, man, she was so sex". Playing polo tomorrow in buenos aires! [on a horse, not in the water]

Rio Ishikawa

Belated Rio post. Hit up the big Christo Redentor statue up on a mountain. I wonder who was it that first looked upon that mountain and thought, ´boy, if there is one thing that mountain needs, its a big white statue of Jesus Christ.~´ met a dude from Sao paulo named Leandro on the day tour who liked to take pictures while pretending to ride a motorcycle. the flamengo-fluminese match was an experience, but that fecker ronaldinho didn~t play due to injury. great atmosphere with awesome chants and songs, and it ended in PKs. Fans literally crying behind me with the victory. when i was in the bathroom in the stadium, some guy either shatted or vomited in the stall, completely missed the toilet, and it started to ooze into my own stall.

went to the nightlife district of lapa, where we chatted up some more brasilians from sao paulo, one of whom was also named leandro. perhaps it is like the David of america. they didn~t speak much english and when they first approached me they said, ´Japon?? Japon?? Tsunami???´, to which i responded with a facial expression equivalent to that universal INTERNETZ saying `..........`

pants off dance off

After a few fun-filled days in Rio (Ferdinand), Derek and i made our way northwest to Salvador (dali). we signed up for a tourboat which took us to some surrounding islands. the boat had a little band on board with one member who looked like Steven Jackson, the rams running back. NFL players go to the strangest places during the lockout. Anyways, This guy enjoyed pulling people up to dance with the band. He finally got to me, shook my hand, and beckoned me up to dance. I told him with hand signals and limited Spanish something to the effect of, ´no mr. steven jackson, i do not want to come up and do pelvic thrusts with you. but mi amigo Derek here would love to do pelvic thrusts with you and your bandmates.´ i~ll post a picture later. off to the amazonian city of Manaus (Ramirez) in a few hours! Holla back ya´ll.

Rio State Championship

I am back! And off to see my boy RONALDINHO play in the semis of the Rio State Championships at ENGENHAO stadium. He plays for Flamengo and its going to be sick. I hope I don´t get jumped.

In the words of Michael Jordan, "I'M BACK"

Tim did an admirable job filling in for me. Let us all take a minute and commend his very unique style of writing which successfully made me sound like a 10 year old girl. Thanks, buddy!

Some random China numbers:
~$7,500 spent
10 lbs lost
too many memories to count
4 flights, 2 trains, 1 boat, dozens of bus and taxis, and 1 very scary motocycle ride
10 cities in 56 days

So what's next for your favorite blogger??? Either find a job or even better, win the MEGAMILLIONS jackpot, currently at ~$250 million. Wish me luck!!

more pics.

man the updates just keep coming!

Yall have no effing idea how effing hard it was to get these effing picz sent out! I hope you're HAPPY! I included a modelling pic of myself (this was before my haircut) with some other Chinese stars. Guo Jing Jing is quite nice, but Yi Jian Lian wasn't even there. they just copied and pasted his likeness in the ad. and also, some pandas. and btw tim, only the PANDA and/or CHINESE ADVERTISEMENT pics may be POSTED.